NO POINTING FINGERS...A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
NO OVERPOWERING...Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case.
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character." It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.
RIGHT SPEECH…There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school."On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered, "You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship.
TRUST...Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board."There was silence. She repeated, "PUB."There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB.Sorry, I got the number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just"hello" instead of "PUB".
PERSONAL PERCEPTION...Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison.
A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither ofthem rides on the donkey?" Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them.
Later, an old man saw it and commented,"The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this,the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey. Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey.
Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left. Later,on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river.
Well... "You can never have everyone praise you nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present,and never will be in the future... Thus,do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear."
